Governments Around the World

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All of us studied civics in school during which we learned about the three branches of the United States government, the difference between a republic and a democracy, and why we have the Electoral College. Other countries have different systems, of course, so it might be useful to understand how some of their systems work.

North Korea: The guy with the goofiest haircut gets to be in charge.

Italy: The male who throws the outrageous parties wins.

France: The man with the prettiest mistress, but of course.

Somalia: Actually, Somalia has no national government but it is doing far better than when It had one.

Ancient Israel: Whoever the high priest anointed with oil was in charge.

Modern Afghanistan: Whoever the CIA anoints with money is in charge.

Venezuela: The president of the Che Guevera fan club is also in the country’s president.

Russia: If you’re Vladimir Putin, you get to be in charge – regardless of what title you or anyone else are currently using.

The Cicadas Are Coming!

insects.tamu.edu

insects.tamu.edu

The online news media has been anticipating the arrival of Brood II cicadas since the first daffodils bloomed. Here’s the coverage in a nutshell…

“There will be 30 million of them!”

“They’re coming! They’re coming!”

“Hundreds have been spotted in North Carolina” (which probably means an anonymous phone caller asked “I found this weird bug. What do you think it is?”)

“Really! They’re coming!”

“They’re hatching in southern Virginia!” (I live a few miles from the North Carolina border, which to me means southern Virginia. Ain’t seen, heard, nor smelt any yet.)

However, I like cicadas.

Anything that bumps politicians and celebrities off the news is a good thing.

Part Time Americans

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I got sucked in by one of those online “news stories” that actually was at least 6 months old. The article purported that wealthy Americans were giving up their citizenship to avoid paying taxes particularly on money earned, kept or hidden overseas.

I’ve read that with our progressive tax system about half don’t pay any income tax and/or may receive a credit from the government. Likewise, reports indicate that the top one percent pay 30% of the taxes to the federal government. (I’m not saying these are correct, as Mark Twain reportedly said, “There’s lies, damned lies and statistics.”)

At first I thought it might be worth our while to try to induce these folks to stay around in order to catch the tax revenue, but then I dug a little deeper.

It appears that most of them don’t actually live here. I’m guessing many have dual citizenship, so they’re more like part time Americans.

Since money is more important than their citizenship, I figure they’re at best fair-weather Americans; at worst, American in name only.

I prefer us normal, not wealthy, plain old every day Americans, anyway.

To the rich who are turning in their passports, “Don’t let the bank vault door hit you in ass on your way out!”

Mothers’ Day Message

animals.nationalgeographic.com

animals.nationalgeographic.com

Yesterday was my first Mothers’ Day after the loss of my own mother. It was very strange not picking out a card for her or hearing her voice on the phone.

Regular readers may remember that when she died, I wrote about how she loved hummingbirds. If there was a tchotchke in the shape of a hummingbird, she had it. I had decided back then to plant some hummingbird friendly flowers in a particular part of the front garden. One of the kids’ schools had a fundraiser with “seed blankets;” you know, “just lay on the ground, cover with a little soil and in a matter of weeks you’ll enjoy the flowers.” I planted several of the seed blankets, including one for the hummingbird garden.

So far, nothing.

Mothers’ Day morning it was cold and raining. As I was leaving for church, I looked across the yard, and there was a hummingbird hovering over my neighbors’ flowers.

As soon as I saw it, it flew away.

Happy Mothers’ Day, Mom.

Planning for the Future

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Feeling better, the young mother walked down the hall to look into the nursery at her newborn, when she noticed the well-dressed gentleman.

“Which baby is yours?” she asked. The stranger laughed.

“Oh, no, I’m not a parent,” he replied. “I’m a talent scout.”

“Scouting newborns?”

“Absolutely,” he replied. “I’ve got two positions I need to fill, and by the time children reach their first birthday, it’s far too late for grooming.” The new mother looked puzzled.

“Each generation needs to have its pre-teen heartthrobs, and that means the entertainment industry needs to identify candidates early. I’m currently on retainer to find both the male and female pre-teen heartthrobs this time around.”

“Pre-teen heartthrobs?” asked the mother.

“Oh, yes,” the talent scout replied. “Someone for the young girls to gush over; In the past we had Rudolf Valentino, Frank Sinatra, Donny Osmond, boy bands and now, Justin Bieber.”

“And the boys?”

“We take care of them, too. Over the years we provided Shirley Temple, Judy Garland, Annette Funicello, Lady Gaga. Hmmmm. That baby, third from the left might have potential.”

“No!” the mother stated firmly. “I didn’t go through 18 hours of labor so Hollywood could make a nutcase out of my son. I think it would be best for you to leave.

“Now!” she insisted as she walked into the nursery, picked up her son and held him tightly.

Things You and I Wouldn’t Really Say

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There are some wonderful quotes throughout history. However, what some people would say would be very different from such wonderful literary quotations.

“I want to die with you, Wendy, on the streets tonight in an everlasting kiss.” – Bruce Springsteen; “Born to Run”

“Hey, baby, you’re like, not-too-bad,”

“I came. I saw. I conquered.’ – Julius Casesar

“General, in accordance with reference (a) [OPORDER 12345], objective achieved 23hours 10 minutes Zulu.Over.”

“I regret that I have but one life to give for my country!”- Nathan Hale upon being hanged as a Yankee spy.

“Ngggh”

“The torch has been passed to a new generation…” John F. Kennedy, Inaugural speech.

“Hey, dude, you’re old, go away.”

“That’s one small step for (a) man; one giant leap for mankind.” – Neil Armsrtong, the first man on the moon.

“Ha! Take that Madonna, and Kanye and everybody else. I did it! Me! Ha! Take that you losers!”

Maybe that’s why we look up to those people who said it first, and better..

Forgotten Hero

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“America’s Greatest Flag Officer” by Chuck Steele which appears in the June 2013 issue of Naval History magazine, is fascinating. When most people thing of World War I they immediately think of John “Black Jack” Pershing. Pershing’s success and reputation is no accident; he chose assignments based on how well they would benefit his future success. While stationed at Fort Russell in Wyoming, he married Frances Warren the daughter of the most powerful politician in the state (also named Francis).

Pershing used his political clout with Teddy Roosevelt to be promoted from captain directly to brigadier general, skipping over 3 ranks and 860 senior officers. He achieved the highest rank ever awarded – “U.S. General of the Armies” equivalent to a six-star general. It was such a unique honor that Congress in 1976 posthumously promoted George Washington out of courtesy.

In the meantime, William S. Sims career was unfolding in somewhat a similar manner. The difference was that he tended to seek assignments that would better the ability of the Navy, taking chances that could have hurt his career but were nevertheless the right thing to do. He accepted assignments that exposed him to the British, French and Russian Navies, and when he realized that the US Navy was not an equal, he pressed against the bureaucracy for years to bring about improvements. It’s testimony to his ability that he was able to take on the establishment and still be promoted.

American entry into the world war was critical to its outcome, and it ended a year and a half later. During that time, Sims was a most effective officer, while Pershing managed to infuriate his French counterpart.

Today, history remembers Pershing and has all but forgotten Sims. However, Sims made his choices based on what was best for the Navy, and did not seek glory, so I think he’d be fine with that.