A Public Service Announcement

Have you ever worked in a shipyard?  Been a sailor?  You could have mesothelioma.  You may be entitled to compensation.

How about any prescription drugs?  Have you ever taken a prescription drug?  All drugs have side effects.  You may be entitled to compensation.

Maybe you’ve been in a car accident or a bike accident or maybe had an accident while wearing training pants.  Maybe you’ve seen an accident or read about one in the newspaper.  Our legal system is here to protect your rights.

Have you seen ads like these on television?  Have you wondered what is driving these expensive and often unpleasant television commercials? 

Every year thousands of new lawyers graduate law school and pass the bar.  It’s not their fault.  These young men and women were raised on syndicated reruns of Perry Mason and LA Law.  They think William Shatner and James Spader are role models.

While it’s true that we desperately need more doctors, nurses, honest businessmen and engineers, the educational system cannot produce those.  To make up for this shortfall colleges and universities are producing lawyers as fast as possible.  It is now common to find lawyers working in hospitals, and they aren’t taking care of patients.  It’s only a matter of time before you too find a lawyer siting in the cubicle next to yours.  Scott Adams may be forced to include more lawyers in both the weekly and the Sunday “Dilbert” comic strips.

Only you can help.  If you can, file a lawsuit today.  I realize not everyone can afford to file an individual lawsuit in today’s economy, so at least join a class action lawsuit.  Any help you can give is appreciated.

Remember, if you don’t act today to keep these lawyers busy, more of them are going to enter national politics.  The presidency and the entire federal court system are now 100% lawyers.  Congress is rapidly heading in that direction.  Act now – the future is in your hands.

hands.

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3 responses to “A Public Service Announcement

  1. Can I sue someone over the side effects of living? If so, I’m in.

    • The problem, of course, comes down to actually collecting any judgement. Therefore, I recommend enjoying the good parts of living whether you sue or not. That way you win either way.

  2. Loved this! I am going to give it my best effort this weekend to find some way to make a lawyer feel loved and needed. For the good of my country, of course. . .

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