Those Zany Secret Service Agents!

I wanted to laugh, but alas, I just couldn’t when I read that one of the Secret Service agents who was fired for bringing a prostitute to the hotel in Columbia is planning on suing.

Maybe it’s proof that people sue for all ills real or imagined, or maybe it’s proof that some people just don’t get it. So in an effort to help them get it I offer

A few thoughts to help the Secret Service in the future:

1) Since Miss Manners has yet to provide guidance on picking up prostitutes it is safe to believe that it is not considered socially acceptable.

2) Even if you’re some place where prostitution is legal, discretion is still the better part of valor.

3) If you’re a government employee, you are in a stewardship position. Even the appearance of misconduct is inappropriate.

4) Prostitutes have been used as spies since the beginning of time (remember what Delilah did to Sampson?)

5) Are you really that inept at getting a date?

6) When your 7 year old daughter asks “What did you bring me?” will you tell her that you spent your money on a hooker?

7) Remember that security clearance you used to have? It would have been handy now that you’re searching for a new job.

8) Does your souvenir tee-shirt say, “The president sent me to Columbia but all I got was this lousy reputation.”

9) What would your mother say?

10) Don’t touch that! You don’t know where that prostitute has been! And wash your hands before you touch anything else!

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