Some of these come from friends I’ve known over the years.
- When in doubt – turn left. Since left turns are usually slower due to oncoming traffic, it gives you more time to figure out where you are and where you’re going. If you continue to turn left, the worst that happens is that you end up where you started.
- It’s not opposable thumbs that separate us from the apes, it’s tape. If they had developed tape (particularly duct tape) they would have prevailed long ago.
- It’s not that people work harder under pressure; it’s the fact that until there’s pressure applied, most people just don’t work.
- If your goal is to graduate and a “C” is the minimum passing grade, then any grade above a C is a sign of inefficiency.
- Precisely 96.3% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
If the invisible man used a public restroom, would the automatic faucet work when he tried to wash his hands?
Obviously the good ones are mine, the lame ones came from somebody else.