Levron Does It Again!

Levron, the biggest name in cosmetics does it again.

You thought Levron had done it all when it offered the Coyote line of cosmetics aimed at the older woman on the prowl. Coyote foundation not only covered wrinkles and imperfections, but it was so easy to apply with its own special putty knife. Once dried, Coyote foundation could be sanded, primed and painted. The Coyote blush, complemented it perfectly whether applied with a roller or sprayed on with the industrial sprayer. Give a young man 5 or 6 martinis and with Coyote, he’ll think you’re absolutely beautiful!

Of course others thought that Levron had reached the cosmetic apex with last year’s Little Tramps specialty makeup. At last you could dress and make up your preschooler to challenge Miss America. Little Tramps candy apple colored and flavored lipstick. Battin’ rouge for the sporty look. Moms living vicariously through their daughters loved watching their girls go from toddler to beauty queen in only a few months. With Little Tramps you could make your five year old look like a miniature 18 year old! And with all the advertising on cable, what little girl could resist vamping around the neighborhood with Mom looking like a couple of hookers. Unfortunately, Little Tramps had to be recalled because some particularly prudish people objected to it.

But today, Levron announced its boldest product line ever – You Beast – makeup for animals! Imagine your kitten with long, longer, longest eyelashes! How about matching leash, collar and eye shadow for your dog? But don’t stop there! Any animal would get a self-esteem boost from a Levron beauty treatment.

Today the English marketing wizards at Crabb & Goyle revealed Levron’s ad campaign.

You Beast !

You can put lipstick on your pig,

But at least it’ll be a Levron pig!

* Not available in all states. Tax title and dealer preparation not included. Some restrictions may apply. Slightly higher in California, but aren’t they all? Historical activity is no guarantee of future performance. If you exhibit symptoms for over four hours it means you stupidly ignored them for at least 3 hours and 59 minutes. The views expressed by the marketing firm of Crabb and Goyle may be vastly overstated. These products are not available in any store. So there.

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