Do they have a self-help book for those who are too dependent on self-help books?
We all know that heat rises and cold sinks. Why, then, when you open the cooler, are the ice cubes on top and the water at the bottom?
Do you suspect that the people at work who pour some of the coffee from each pot into their cup so neither one is actually empty (meaning they’d have to make a fresh pot) were the kids who returned the jug with an ounce of milk to the refrigerator?
Remember when politicians or celebrities got pregnant or arrested and they were embarrassed? (If so, you probably also remember 4 cent postage stamps.)
Most people enjoyed the late Nora Ephron’s movies. However, if you reversed the characters in “Sleepless in Seattle” so that the male was trying to get to the female, it would have been a stalker movie rather than a romantic comedy.
When a young man or woman turns 16 they can’t wait to go down to the Department of Motor Vehicles. It is the last time in their entire life that they will ever willingly deal with the DMV.
Amazingly enough, the “religious” leaders of groups like Al Qaida or the Taliban always convince someone else that the road to paradise includes detonating explosives strapped to one’s body.
The reason eating out is so enjoyable is not because of the quality of the food. It’s because eating at home for most families includes:
2 hours of shopping
2 hours of preparation
1 hour of cleanup (including both loading and unloading the dishwasher)
15 minutes of eating
With and some family members opting out for reasons real or imagined
At least one complaint (often because vegetables are served instead of French fries)