Daily Archives: August 30, 2012

T’would Be Better If We Made This a Contest

There are thousands of words in the English language. It seems like we get knotted up in the latest buzzwords and abandon words that would be far more fun. I mean, wouldn’t it be a better world if we not only DIDN’T have the word “sexting” but had no need for it?

Is “Wassup!?” really a word? If so, why?

What does it really meant when we say that we’re “networking our paradigm shift in order to create a synergistic outcome?”


I say that we should dig out some of the forgotten words and bring them back. Here are a few examples to get us started:

“If you kids don’t settle down I swear I shall come down and smite both of you!”

“They wanted me to join them, but told them I shan’t.”

“My children have changed from Nike to Aeropostale livery.”

“Ann Landers had a particularly good response in today’s agony column.”

“I’d like to stop newspaper delivery as we’ll be on holiday for a fortnight and I don’t wish to alert any of the ne’er-do-wells.”

“When Justin Bieber pointed to her, I swear she was positively consumed by the vapors!”

“Now that the kids are grown we traded in the SUV for a brougham.”

“Bob needs a new suit, so it’s off to the haberdashers.”

“I used to buy her school clothes, but she’s just too persnickety

“It’s happy hour. If you order one drink you’ll get twain!”

Okay, maybe not.

If you have examples, send them. Best submission gets to pick the next contest.