The Battle Is Won

faucet

Here in Virginia there are many battle sites. My neighborhood is known as “Great Bridge” since the Americans turned back the British during the Revolutionary War at a bridge referred to as “The Great Bridge.” Since “Great Bridge” refers to an area, while the battle is referred to as the Battle of Great Bridge, the modern drawbridge is called the “Great Bridge Bridge.”

But I digress.

Manassas, the site of 2 great battles is in Virginia. If you were educated in the north, you may know the battles as “Bull Run.” Yorktown & Williamsburg were the sites of battles in both the Revolutionary War and the Civil War. Yorktown was where the Revolutionary War ended and Appomattox Court House, also in Virginia, was the site of the surrender of General Lee to General Grant, ending the Civil War.

But today ended the battle of the kitchen sink, a historical occurrence, if I do say so myself.

The opening shots occurred several months ago when the spray handle to the faucet split and began to leak. I bought a “universal” replacement, which sorta-kinda worked, but not exactly. I Googled the original manufacturer and ordered the exact replacement, which was pricey, but I figured it represented the path to easiest success.

The exact replacement was exactly what I needed, except that they had changed the one fitting from coarse threads to loose threads. This meant that the replacement was exactly the right size, but there was no way to get it to work.

I went back to the “universal replacement.” The main problem was that the pressure was restricted. The company’s customer service department gave me instructions for checking it out, and determined that it was defective. They shipped a replacement.

Apparently the replacement was either delivered to the wrong address, or someone stole it.

They sent a replacement-replacement. It worked, until yesterday, when it fell off spraying water all over the kitchen.

This morning I went to the hardware to get a whole new faucet. The instructions were all in pictures that were too small to see accurately, but that didn’t matter, because the instructions didn’t match the faucet; it was the same faucet but the real one came less assembled than the pictures showed.

Eventually we figured it out.

I’ve never enjoyed plumbing, especially in the space under a sink. Imagine being crammed into an MRI Scanner, only smaller with obstructions. Now attempt to use tools in that space. That’s what it’s like working under the sink.

Eventually, thanks to my kids, we got the new faucet installed and working. Casualties were minor. Total cost with all the pieces parts, partial repairs, special tools, etc. was enough to make my congressman jealous. However, the kitchen sink is now functional.

I declared victory and dismissed the troops to return to their regular pursuits.

One last thing. Does anyone know where I can get a bronze plaque made to mount in the kitchen in order to mark the end of the Battle of the Kitchen Sink?

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One response to “The Battle Is Won

  1. Excellent stick-to-itivness!! My son got a particular kick out of your description for being under the sink & says kudos to you for the apt comparison.

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