Just when I think I’ve heard it all, someone, somewhere, somehow manages to shock the hell out of me. Apparently, you can now buy positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist.
But don’t worry – many of the sellers promise not to pass judgment on what you do with it.
At least that’s reassuring. But what WOULD someone use it for?
1. Getting him to finally pop the question? (Suggestion – when you pick up the wedding license, grab a set of the paperwork for the divorce – it’ll save time in the not-too-distant future.)
2. Causing your parents to experience myocardial infarctions and or a cerebral vascular accident? (It’s like the ultimate joy buzzer and whoopee cushion all rolled into one!)
3. Showing your 96 year old husband that at 88 you’ve still got it? (See #2, above.)
Of course, you have to wonder even more about the sellers of these, uh, slightly used products. After all, pregnancy tests show a positive result when they detect the presence of human chorionic gonadotropin in a pregnant woman’s urine.
When a customer wants to buy a positive pregnancy test, does the seller deliver? Do they meet their customers in a public location, like in front of the Maternity Shoppe at the local mall?
Do they send it by mail? I hope they at least use an envelope that doesn’t require licking the flap.
Or maybe it doesn’t matter to them.