Vote for ME!

vote

Election Day is around the corner, and here’s what I want from my elected officials.

You should look like me; as a matter of fact if you’re Polish-German-Catholic-American with greying hair and hazel eyes, even better. In fact, it would probably be best if you had grown up in my neighborhood.

I want all the people who earn more than I do to pay more taxes, but index it so if someday I earn more, those taxes won’t affect me.

And while you’re at it, stop giving food stamps, unemployment, health care or any other kind of help to those who earn less than I do. They should just drag their respirators and dialysis machines and get back to work.

I want my taxes to go down, the school where my kids are to get more money and we need better roads – at least the ones that I drive on a regular basis. Oh, and no tolls on the roads, bridges or tunnels that I use.

You know my views on global warming, abortion and gun control, so don’t screw those up.

Now, remember, that this election isn’t a biggie, so if it’s raining, or windy, or I just feel like sleeping in, I may not make it to the polling booth. Even so, I expect you to bend over backwards to represent me.

After all, I’m a voter, and you need me.

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