Daily Archives: February 12, 2014

Be a Musical Sensation!

The Byrds Cancelled Flytes

The Byrds
Cancelled Flytes

In the late 1960’s, The Byrds told us;

“So you want to be a rock and roll star,
Then listen now to what I say.
Just get an electric guitar,
And take some time and learn how to play.”

Those were kinder, gentler times. If today you want to be a musical hit, you need a plan.

  1. Start doing commercials as a cute toddler
  2. Get hired for a cable television show aimed at tweens.
  3. Lip-synch vocals on the television show.
  4. Make an album. Don’t worry about talent – with autotune, overdub, and digital enhancement, talent is not required.
  5. Do some incredibly stupid things, preferably involving drugs and nudity (If you can do them on a “reality” show, even better.)
  6. Go into rehab
  7. Hit the talk show and fashion magazine circuit to apologize.
  8. Moan about how misunderstood you are.
  9. Repeat as necessary

Don’t be tacky and copy hackneyed old routines like owning a poodle, Chihuahua, or monkey. Same goes for wardrobe malfunctions or drinking your own bodily fluids.