Plumbing – The Great Equalizer

I have college degrees, professional certifications, and various other proofs of intelligence, but nothing cuts me down to size faster than plumbing.

Plumbing! How hard can it be?

You have a pipe that brings water into your home; you have pipes that distribute it as either hot or cold water; you have a pipe that carries the waste water out.

What could be simpler?

From my experience – nuclear physics, quantum mechanics and, transmogrification.

You measure the size of the pipe, go to the hardware store, buy the correct size and bring it home to find that it doesn’t fit. You go back and get a replacement (you can’t return the piece bought after you’ve bent it in six places) and find that it requires a double adapter conversion connector with a double helix as well as a connection to an alternative universe.

I’ve tried everything – online tutorials; cursing; and even (when no one else is around) letting my pants slide down just like the professional plumbers do.

So far, cursing seems to work the best.

Then I call a plumber, who usually is good natured about removing my repairs and then making it right.