It’s Kind of Like Denny’s – Only Different

eggsSeveral high tech companies have now adopted policies to enhance the ability of women to compete in the workplace. Science has now made it possible for a woman to have her ova (eggs) harvested when she’s young so that she can delay having a family. The advantage is that a 40-ish year old woman can have the eggs harvested at age 28 fertilized and implanted so that the risks normally associated with a later-in-life pregnancy won’t be a problem.

It’s the female answer to sperm banks.

Of course, if you’re now a fortyish female who has risen to the top at a high tech company, will you really want to take time out to hatch those should-now-be-a-teenager eggs?

I suspect this is the first step of a whole new process for talented people of both sexes. (I initially meant one of each, but actually, any combination works.)

If someone is ubersuccessful in their chosen field, if they deferred having children in their early corporate years, what is the chance of them leaving that coveted corner office unprotected once they’ve hit the big time? Personally I think not so much.

I figure it will go something like the sex scene between Harold Ramis and Diane Keaton in the movie Baby Boom – only less intimate.

The husband and wife (or other combination) go to a romantic setting, and after ordering cocktails or a bottle of wine the maître de hotel introduces the twenty-first century version of the wine steward (and for you traditionalists, no tasting cup on a chain around his neck – PLEASE!).

“Good evening, madam; sir. I am Francois,” (actually it’s Ralph, but Francois gets him better tips). “Now I understand, Ms. Cheri that you are thinking of your ovum from 2000, although you also have ova frozen in 1998 and 2005. Am I correct?”

“Yes, Francois. I like the millennial aura, you know. The changeover from mainframes to servers, the whole Y2K thing.”

“An excellent choice, madam, but, just in case, we also have a wonderful selection of ova ranging from exotic dark haired beauties from Tahiti to our honored Native Americans.”

“Thank you, Francois, but I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I am sure that I will be using my ovum from 2000.”

“But of course, madam. Then of course, we must consider the gentlemen.”

“Oh, I have, Francois, I have. Bob here is a wonderful husband and provider, but long ago we realized that his DNA would never be put out for stud. I’m looking more for a Steven Hawking type, but disease free, of course.”

“Absolutely, madam. Fine arts, Law, Science?”

“Science, please, and I’m partial to electrical engineers.” Francois leaned in.

“I have one and only one Nobel Laureate in physics, but it’s outrageously expensive.”

“Not a problem.”

“And would madam like to schedule her appointment for implanting the fertilized embryo? I have next Tuesday available due to a cancellation.”

“Francois, would you be a doll and line up a surrogate? We’re finishing up our new line of cell phones with the product release in a month.”

“Yes, madam, I understand. Do you wish us to arrange for a surrogate who will also act as nanny?”

“Francois, you’re wonderful! Make sure she reminds me of birthdays and holidays. I promise I’ll try to stop by and see my child for all those occasions.”

“Of course, madam. And may I be the first to congratulate you on the wonderful news!”

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