Geekery for Geekery’s Sake

Dated--but still a great flick

Dated–but still a great flick

We all know that computer geeks love to speak among themselves in terms that defy logic, and the understanding of those they consider “mere mortals.” They speak of “enterprise-wide solutions” when they install software for an entire company. If you have a computer problem, they “open a ticket.”

Okay, we get it. If you spoke in plain English, we’d not be nearly so impressed. But what’s the deal with software names? Why must you geeks choose names that give absolutely no clue as to what the software is supposed to do?

Microsoft Silverlight: Sounds like it should, I don’t know, decrease the mass of a heavy metal? [It deals with streaming media, graphics, etc.]

Avast: Sounds like a program for messaging pirates. [It’s an anti-malware program]

Magical Jellybean: Something to prepare for Easter or Halloween? [It displays the activation codes you entered when installing software.]

While “Word” sort-of, kind-of suggests a word processor, “Excel” does not scream “SPREADSHEET” to me.

CCleaner: Is an anomaly; it means “crap cleaner” as in getting rid of all those leftover pieces of programs you no longer need. But, as I said, it’s an anomaly.

So, to all you computer geeks out there, be warned that, I’m getting ready to frambus on the esperel before re-chwising the quimbrel.

So, there!

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