Getting the Bird

Am I a bird person?  More than some, but not as much as others; there are some birds in my neighborhood with 3 white stripes across the wings whose name I still haven’t figured out. On the other hand, Alex (my parrot) and I are on a first name basis. I call her “Alex” and for some reason she calls me “Daddy.” (I think my wife put her up to that.)

We have various birds in this area that have adapted to the environment, one example being herons. They have long legs and long necks, so they can stand in the water and grab creatures smaller than themselves and eat them. I blame Darwin, and then I blame PETA for not correcting this particular practice.


Notice the heron in its natural habitat, shopping for clams, oysters, frogs, or other seafood delicacies.

But when they fly, they fold their necks. Excuse, me, they fold their necks? How weird is that? Giraffes, don’t fold their necks. Ostriches don’t, either. With snakes, you’re never sure what’s neck, belly, tail or whatever, so we won’t even consider them.

Courtesy Kristine Quandee

Courtesy Kristine Quandee

If my best friend told me, “Here, let me show you how I fold my neck,” I’d be weirded out. The next time his name came up on my phone’s caller ID, I just might let it ring and go to voicemail.

This neck-folding thing that herons do makes them weird.

On the other hand, there are mornings when I’m running late; if I could just fold my neck rather than shave, I just might try it.

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