Dear Mexico

El Señor Enrique Pena Nieto
Presidente, Los Estados Unidos de Mexico

Sir:

I’ve been reading the news accounts of the presidential campaign in the other United States, just north of your country. It is being claimed that you will be paying for a wall along the border. I have several suggestions:

  1. Although statements are being made that American workers will actually build the wall, I would recommend that you use Mexican labor. Although there will be lower labor costs, of even greater importance is the work ethic among Mexican artisans.
  2. May I suggest that it may be cost effective to consider simultaneous building of the wall and widening and improving the tunnels that already cross the border. You would certainly not want to be building the wall over a portion of land that is not stable enough to support it. In such a case you would need to repair both the tunnel and the wall. It’s better to build the tunnels into the plan from the very start.
  3. Since the Mexican side of the wall will be facing south, I would not blame you for ensuring that the southern exposure is more attractive. However, it would be an ideal location for solar cells to convert the sunlight into electricity so you may wish to eschew aesthetics in favor of an angle best for mounting solar cells for maximum efficiency. Given the size of the wall, you may be able to provide a significant amount of power for your country without the need for fossil fuels.

I hope these suggestions have been valuable. If, when you’re done with the wall, you have some materials left over, I could use a little help on repairing the fence around my yard. As a “commission” for theses suggestions, perhaps a couple of your folks could stop by and give me a hand. Please let me know in advance so I can chill the beer and fire up the grill–you can’t fix a fence without making it into a party.

Thank you, and all the best.

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