Daily Archives: March 30, 2017

Lime Green?

In my poor, struggling student days, I drove a 1972 lime green Ford Pinto. In fairness, it was actually a fairly reliable car, although when it had a problem, it was an all-night effort to fix. Living in Ohio, with all the salt on the roads, it needed to have the body patched every spring and most autumns. It had so much fiberglass and Bondo that I believed that I could have driven it through a metal detector with nary a peep from the security machine.

Did I mention it was lime green?

Needless to say, I have neither owned nor wanted a lime green car ever since.

Tonight, on my way home from work I saw a Lamborghini. I saw a $450,000 Lamborghini. I saw a $450,000 lime green Lamborghini.

Naturally, I mentioned this to my wife who found it surprising that Lamborghini would offer one of their four-wheel works of art in lime green.

But then we realized, that if you can afford a Lamborghini, you can pretty much have whatever you want.

If I buy a suit, I buy it off the rack and have it altered. Wealthy people have tailors who hand-make their suits. It’s likely that they get their cars the same way.

“Ah, yes. I want grey glove leather seats and oak interior trim—the light oak, mind you, not the dark. The most powerful engine, of course, and now, let’s see, do I want a four, five, six, or seven speed transmission? I think five will be enough—I’ll already be pulled over by every cop that sees me, just so they can get a look at the car and the bloke that owns it, so no sense in going even faster.

“I’ll need full satellite navigation and satellite stereo for the radio—that doesn’t fade in tunnels—with storage for at least a thousand, no, make that ten thousand songs—all in full fidelity. The passenger’s visor will need a lighted mirror; my dates need to make sure their makeup is just perfect.

“Make sure that there are plenty of cup holders, although if anyone spills anything, they’re going to pay for the detailer to make a house call.

“I’ll need all weather tires, of course, tinted glass, and . . . .I’m forgetting something. What am I forgetting?

“Oh, I know, the colour (please notice the British spelling). I want my Lamborghini painted the lime green colour they used for Ford Pintos in the early 1970s.

“As usual, money’s no object, but I’ll use my friends at the club as my customer satisfaction survey—which will be widely distributed.

“Well, I’m off. Good day.”