Daily Archives: April 7, 2021

It’s Up to YOU!

Donald Trump asked his supporters to help him pay for an election recount. Unbeknown to many who donated, the form had a box pre-checked for the donation to be repeated.

Matt Gaetz has been accused of possible improprieties with an underage girl. He’s asking his supporters to send money to pay for his defense.

I confess. I, too, have transgressions and need your help.

I’m mortified, but it’s true.

In third grade the dog didn’t eat my geography project. Actually, the dog had died earlier that year and we had not yet picked a replacement, so there wasn’t a dog even remotely available, much yet involved. I made it all up because I had totally forgotten that the project had been assigned three weeks earlier, but it’s not my fault. What third grade boy can remember anything for three weeks?

Therefore, I’m asking everyone to fund my therapy to help me move on. I’ve been carrying this guilt around with me for over 60 years, so the psychological damage to my self image is immense.

Please leave your donation in a brown paper bag in non-sequentially numbered small denomination bills on my front porch.

Remember when you had to sell band candy or girl scout cookies? You asked everybody you knew to help out. Now’s the time to go and ask them again. My therapist says I need to go to the Bebe Rebozo Clinic in Bimini for extended therapy.

It’s YOUR responsibility–don’t let me down.