After paying careful attention to the media, I believe I have finally cracked the code. I have read hundreds of articles in various “news” sources. Here are my conclusions:
- The easiest way, of course, is to be born to famous parents. If possible, to famous parents who had famous parents. Children of the famous attract paparazzi and sycophants before they switch from breast milk to creamed peas.
- Having rich parents always helps, even if they’re not famous per se. It takes a bit more work, but it is possible. Paris Hilton now says that her earlier activities were all an act and, with all the money she has, that tells you something.
- Lacking the foresight for picking proper ancestors, becoming famous will take more work, but is still quite possible. The best plan is to do something incredibly stupid. Contrary to what you may have heard, it does NOT have to be criminal, although criminal acts do tend to garner headlines. If it bleeds, it leads.
- Creating and promoting fake remedies is as old as America itself. The 21st century Medicine Shows do not have the entertainment value of Dr. Brouhaha’s Hell Oil Tonic sold from a horse drawn wagon, but don’t despair. Look at the following that hydroxychloroquine and injectable bleach managed in only a few short weeks.
- Lavish use of Facebook and Twitter will help you build credibility. Have several accounts with which to quote or forward your own ideas so it looks like you have a following.
- And, finally–run for Congress.