Sorry, but sometimes there’s an obvious joke—such an obvious joke that it just begs to be told. If I were arrested for this, I’d tell the judge, “Honest, your honor, there was this huge straight line headed right at me. I had no choice but to defend myself!”
So, in the spirit of satire, here goes:
Donald Trump was indicted (not indicated) today, however, he spoke to reporters and fans from Mara Lago after he returned from New York.
“The grand jury was the BIGGEST grand jury ever assembled. Not only that, but no other president has ever had so many charges against them. It’s like my inauguration crowd—HUGE! And like the hundreds of thousands of people at every one of my rallies!
“No other president has ever had SO MANY AND SO MUCH. It’s mind boggling!”
Incidentally, should Trump be sentenced to prison, his secret service detail would remain with him. So as not to interfere with prison operations, they are being asked to wear the same color orange as the prisoners, but cut as a Brooks Brothers’ suit rather than as a coverall. The suits will have SS on the back to avoid any confusion.