Category Archives: Culture

Positions

No, not that.

There’s a great Monty Python bit in which the suitor is talking to his intended wife’s father. The abbreviated version would go something like this.

Graham Chapman: “Do you have a position?”

Michael Palin: (Snort) “I cleans public lavatories.”

Graham Chapman: “And is there a potential for promotion?”

Michael Palin: “Yeah–after five years they gives me a brush.”

We spend the first quarter of our life preparing to take on a position. The next two quarters of our lives, we define ourselves by our positions. Finally, we learn that our position is what we do, not who we are.

Jackson Browne (with, perhaps some help from his neighbor Don Henley) may have said it best in “Running on Empty”:

Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive
Trying not to confuse it with what you do to survive

We are who we are and we do what we do–don’t confuse them.

 

Everybody panic! It might snow!

Buffalo, NY 2014 (Courtesy PBS)

Southeast Virginia’s TV meteorologists are in a full-blown tizzy because (gasp!) it looks like it’s going to snow. This is not necessarily bad, because TV meteorologists love to be in a tizzy over any weather event—but if you lived as boring a life as they do, wouldn’t you? The only other excoitement they get is standing outside in a storm on a live broadcast telling everyone else not to go outside.

Our neighboring states average the following annual snowfall:

West Virginia 62″

Delaware and Maryland 20.2″

North Carolina (due south of us) 7.6″

Virginia as a state averages 10.3″ per year, but the southeast (Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Hampton, Chesapeake, etc.) averages a paltry 5.8 inches, although eighty years ago, in January 1936, there was a record snowfall of 20 inches. Wow!

So, wish your television weatherman a happy blizzard, but leave quickly or risk having it all explained in great detail to you.

Undocumented Features

explo

Former Washing Machine Photo Daily Mail

Among software types there’s an old joke that programs never have bugs—merely undocumented features.

Hardware I catching up:

  • Airbags that spontaneously deploy and throw shrapnel at the car’s occupants,
  • Cars that adjust the engine to run one way during emission testing and another for regular driving,
  • Smartphones that burst into flames,
  • AND, my personal favorite—washing machines that explode

People today don’t realize how good they have it. When I was a kid, you had to do all these kinds of things the hard way—by hand. It was tough. If you wanted to blow up the washing machine, first you had to stuff the tub with a $#!+load of firecrackers with the fuses connected. There was always enough moisture left inside the washing machine so that half of them would get soggy. Still, once you lit the fuse, you had to run like hell to get out of the way. If the fuse fizzled out, you never knew how long to wait to go back and try to relight it without accidently blowing yourself up. We worked for results, and when we blew up a washing machine, we were proud!

Today, people just expect these things to happen all by themselves.

Inspiration from the Movies

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

I love movies, although I no longer have the time to devote to watching as many of them as I’d like. In a few years, when I retire, I hope to correct that problem.

Movies aim to elicit feelings, not thoughts, but sometimes feelings actually lead to critical thoughts. Take, for example, the Indiana Jones movies; while “The Search for the Lost Ark” was wonderful, the “Last Crusade” was important. It touched on some lessons that we don’t teach in schools, but are critical nevertheless.

Indian Jones, a fictional archeologist from the time when archaeologists were more “pot hunters” than scientists, seeks the Holy Grail—the cup Jesus drank from at His last meal. To reach the grail, he must pass three challenges:

  • The Breath of God – “Only the penitent man will pass.”
  • The Word of God – “Only in the footsteps of God will he proceed.”
  • The Path of God – “Only in the leap from the lion’s head will he prove his worth.”

    (http://indianajones.wikia.com/wiki/Temple_of_the_Sun)

What can we learn?

“Only the penitent man will pass.”—None of us are perfect, and we must be sorry for how we’ve hurt one another.

“Only in the footsteps of God will he proceed.”—God has given us direction through so many means, all of which come down to, “Love God above all things, and love your neighbor as yourself.”

“Only in the leap from the lion’s head will he prove his worth.”—It takes faith to live, grow, and do good in this world. Logic alone is not enough; logic applies only to this world, while faith touches the next.

God, in his infinite wisdom, touches us through scripture, religious communities, and even the movies. But then, since He is God, why wouldn’t He?

The Decision and the Declaration

Today, on July 4th, we celebrate the Independence Day, when the Declaration of Independence was approved by the Continental Congress in 1776.

However, history is more interesting than just the event and the date.

On June 7, 1776, the senior Virginia member of Congress, Richard Henry Lee introduced a resolution stating:

Resolved, That these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States, that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain is, and ought to be, totally dissolved.”

Congress adopted the Virginia motion on July 2, 1776, thereby refuting our status as a colony; this is why John Adams believed that we would celebrate our independence on July second, the date of the decision.

The Declaration of Independence was approved two days later, on July 4, 1776.

While the Declaration of Independence is a masterpiece, and I recommend that everyone read it today, it was not the decision, but merely the explanation to the world as to why the decision had been made. Although we have seen many portrayals of all the Founding Fathers assembled together in Independence Hall to sign the document on the fourth of July, most, but not all, signed on August second; one signer, who was not a member of the congress until later in the year, signed in November.

As is often the case, history is more complex, and far more interesting than the snapshot presented in civics class.

* Thanks, once again to Wikipedia. If you use it, kick in a donation—even a dollar helps.

 

July 4

When I was young, many of my peers’ grandfathers were veterans of World War I; most of the dads were veterans of World War II, and older brothers were serving in Japan, Korea and Germany. There were even a few individual who claimed to be Civil War veterans—supposedly drummer boys and buglers who had served quite young. Most of those were proven untrue, although there were widows of Civil War veterans; some veterans in their alter years married teenage brides. See Wikipedia’s story at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maudie_Hopkins. Now, all of the veterans of the wars before before World War II are gone, and those veterans, “the greatest generation” are fast disappearing.

July marks Independence Day, of course, but also the Battle of Gettysburg. I’ve already discussed how that one battle was pivotal in changing so many things and ultimately resulted in the United States becoming a world power—and I’m sure I shall again.

As a child I wanted to see the Gettysburg battlefield (I have, many times, but never enough). I wanted to see Halley’s Comet (a major disappointment; instead of the terrifying manifestation of the past, it was a fuzzy little dot you had to drive out to the country to see). And, after reading about the centennial celebrations of Independence Day, I wanted to experience the bicentennial.

John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the same day—the fiftieth anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, making it halfway to the centennial. Between the 150th anniversary and the 200th, the country was torn apart and patched back together.

The bicentennial for me was a combination of the enthusiasm and idealism of young adulthood, disappointment in the government for Vietnam and Watergate, yet I still had great hope for the future of the nation. I had no idea that such a future would include me.

I spent July 4, 1976 with my family at my sister’s place, which included a fair amount of land. We shot off enough fireworks to approximate the Confederate attack and Colonel Joshua Chamberlain’s defense of the Union’s west flank at Gettysburg. The smoke took hours to clear and the only casualty was one lawn chair that had suffered from the backflash of a series of roman candles.

I had my bicentennial.

Today I find it incredibly hard to believe that it was forty years ago. That since then I took an oath and served in two wars; that I served like my father and his father before him. That I have a son now serving.

My children and my grandchildren may get to see the tri-centennial. I hope it’s a wondrous celebration.

Television, But First, This Word . . .

I confess that I don’t watch a lot of television, mainly because of lack of time. I do watch the local news as I’m getting dressed in the morning, which is mainly limited to weather, traffic, and a smattering of journalism. There are a few prime-time shows I like, but normally we watch those through the DVR.
I understand that commercial advertisements pay the bills for television stations, but sometimes it seems a bit overdone. I have never timed it, but it seems like the local morning news is about 50 percent commercials. There are pitches for replacement windows, new and used cars, lawyers, furniture stores, pawn shops, and even churches. During elections they add a ton of political attack ads. Alas, while I’m trying to wake up in the morning, I’m not particularly persuaded to seek anything from those advertisements.
Our cable company overrides customers’ ability to record the most popular prime-time programs on the in-house DVR, but instead shifts them to their “On Demand” service. The difference is that with their recording one can no longer fast forward through the commercials; if you pause the program for too long, it disengages and you have to restart the program from the very beginning.
The commercials on the time-shifted programs include erectile dysfunction drugs, other programs from the same network, erectile dysfunction drugs, public service announcements, erectile dysfunction drugs, an occasional product, and, of course, erectile dysfunction drugs. I suspect that these are not exactly the same as during the original broadcast, but that’s just a guess.
It’s no wonder I prefer movies and books.