It’s Not About You

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/77/Sneeze.JPG

“The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.”
                                                                                  – Oliver Wendell Holmes

Wearing a mask in public is not to protect the mask wearer from germs. It’s to keep germs from being transmitted to others. COVID-19 is a respiratory disease and is contracted by inhaling the virus.

A sneeze is a veritable biological weapon. Whatever is in your mouth and nasal system is sprayed as an aerosol, covering an area well beyond the social distance of six feet. In fact, it appears to be well over 20 feet. The droplets can remain suspended in the air for several minutes When they settle, pathogens are deposited on surfaces with a virus that can last up to several days.

National Geographic has an interesting article.

Some decry that their rights are being violated by pandemic restrictions, such as face masks.

Using Supreme Court Justice Holmes logic, your right to go without a mask also ends where my nose begins.

 

 

Unintended Consequence

I managed to hang onto most of my hair until relatively recently. I felt pretty good about that, especially since one of my sons is follicly challenged to the point where he shaves those lonely hairs on his head. Nevertheless, things are catching up with me now.

In the sixties and seventies (the 1960s and 1970s–not my 60s and 70s) long hair was in vogue. My hair was curly, so I never looked as cool as Sir Paul McCartney. In those days, unfortunately, Brian May (Queen’s outrageously talented lead guitarist) was recognized for his musical talent–not his hair–so straight hair was far more cool.

Due to work rules, I kept my hair short for year, but I promised myself that when I was no longer limited, I’d regrow my Van Dyke beard and add a ponytail to my hair.

Alas, it was not to be. The beard was a nonstarter. I let it grow for a week once when we were on vacation, but it was an ugly shade of grey that made me look at least 30 years older than I was. If you had put me and Obi Wan Kenobi together, he would have looked like an innocent youngster compared to me.

With COVID-19, I’ve been self-isolating for nearly two months. I still shave most days, but no haircuts. So how does this work out for my decades-long desire to look cool? Not very well

When I get up in the morning and look in the mirror, I must admit that I look quite a bit like a movie star celebrity.

Between the balding and the curly hair, I look like a chubby version of Larry from the Three Stooges.

 

Octopus Sans Garden

There has been some interest in octopuses (I, being a heathen, used to call them octopi–sorry!). Nevertheless, I’ve always found them fascinating.

Years ago, I was able to successfully maintain a marine (saltwater) aquarium. At various times, I had coral and clown fish, sea horses, and an octopus, although not all at once. The octopus was the most interesting–here’s what the octopus taught me.

  • My octopus could not only change colors for camouflage, it could mimic patterns and shapes. On the bottom of the aquarium, it would match the pattern and color of the gravel. On coral, it would have the color of the coral and appendages on the skin that made it blend in marvelously.
  • They are so good at camouflage that there have been reports of apparently empty aquariums being drained, only to find a number of octopuses hiding.
  • An octopus is curious and loves to climb. If one is in an aquarium and there’s a teeny-tiny-miniscule gap, the octopus is likely to squeeze through and climb up (Apparently,up is their favorite direction),
  • When my octopus saw food, it turned reddish–it’s “Time to Eat” signal.
  • My octopus–like all other octopuses–had no bones. It was a squishy organism. It’s hard to believe that the favorite food for an octopus is crab. It amazes me that the squishy creature routinely eats a one with a shell and nasty pincers.
    The octopus would stalk the crab, then suddenly turn red and in a split second, attack land on the crab like a parachute. An expels a toxin that paralyzes the crab and in the middle of the octopus underside is a very effective beak–exquisitely designed for opening a crab shell.
  • Octopuses are wonderfully intelligent, although difficult to keep in captivity.
  • My octopus would watch me as I walked around the room. It used two of its arms to hold onto the aquarium glass. When I walked, it would move along in parallel and in synch with me, supporting itself with two arms and swinging the others to imitate my legs.

Now, isn’t that better than reading the news?

Yes, But Is It Funny?

Humor is the ability to lead the reader or listener down one thought and suddenly surprise them with a hard left turn.

A priest, a Rabbi, and a Protestant minister walk into a bar.
“What is this,” the bartender asks, “some kind of a joke?”

Today, with everything going on in the world, it’s hard to think of anything funny to write about, especially if one tries to avoid rubbing salt into somebody’s emotional wounds.

I have desperately tried to find the humor in things, but lately have failed.

As soon as I think of something humorous, I’ll write about it.

COVID-19 and the Future

There is a computer program that gives a real-time update on the Coronavirus, COVID-19 [LINK]. Today, I watched it roll up several hundred new deaths over a matter of hours.

It’s tough for a small business to have to worry about surviving during the pandemic. It’s tougher for a family that lives paycheck-to-paycheck to try to figure out what they’re going to do. It’s disgusting to see large corporations with cash on hand and cash in the bank grab the federal aid intended for small businesses.

Every single number that program showed today was an actual person–someone whose family is now grieving. These aren’t statistics–these are people. Unfortunately, they are now dead people.

Pandemics throughout history have had long-lasting effects, which are often overlooked. When large numbers of people die, those at the top of the socioeconomic ladder had to compete for workers. Kings made edicts that their subjects must work for the same salary as before, which was generally ignored. Workers chose jobs that paid better and the divide between the rich and common folks narrowed.

I don’t know what is going to happen after we get things back to normal, nobody does, but the new normal is going to be different.

 

A Wise Investment

The Palm Beach Post reports that Publix Grocery announced this week that it will purchase fresh produce and milk to help farmers who have been hurt by the coronavirus pandemic. The supermarket chain will donate these products to Feeding America member food banks operating in the communities they serve.

The initiative will support Florida produce farmers, southeastern dairy farmers and the growing number of families looking to Feeding America for fresh fruit, vegetables and milk during the coronavirus pandemic. The initiative is expected to run for several weeks.

“As a food retailer, we have the unique opportunity to bridge the gap between the needs of families and farmers impacted by the coronavirus pandemic,” said Publix CEO Todd Jones.

While many businesses try to grab as much profit as possible in good times or in bad, Publix CEO Todd Jones makes wise investments.

Farmers who have to destroy food and dairy may lose enough money to force them out of business. Sending the food to food banks is right, just, and logical.

The farmers will likely see Publix as a partner rather than merely a customer. Likewise those who rely on the food Publix donates–many of whom have never had to do so before or again–will probably remember this in the future.

We’re stronger together than we are alone.

I Think So

I love to think–it makes me feel like I might even be smart. Recently, I came across this:

On this past International Holocaust Remembrance Day, I reread a bit of Bertrand Russell. In 1933, dismayed at the Nazification of Germany, the philosopher wrote “The Triumph of Stupidity,” attributing the rise of Adolf Hitler to the organized fervor of stupid and brutal people—two qualities, he noted, that “usually go together.” He went on to make one of his most famous observations, that the “fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”[Link]

That got me thinking, “Why are the intelligent full of doubt?”

The intelligent understand that additional data is likely to become available which will either reinforce their beliefs or challenge them. Further, they challenge apparent facts that are outrageous, such as the growth of the Nazi party and the persecution of Jews, the Roma, homosexuals, and anyone else who hadn’t been exemplary sycophants.

In the 1930’s, the intelligent continued to grow mentally. The stupid were unable to deal with changes in reality.

Curse of the Video Games

In ancient times and ancient (more than 10 year old) computer games, the ruler of an imaginary country was tasked with deciding between expanding the empire (and potentially exceeding its resources, leading to collapse) or pausing progress in order to care for and feeding the people (who would help the empire grow).

I never, in my wildest nightmares, imagined that I would ever see this in real life, much less live it.

COVID-19 Special Circumstances

Some of the rules for avoiding COVID-19 have the usual confusing special circumstances that need clarifying:

Is it okay to touch your face when you’re in the shower?

Speaking of showers, do you need to wash your hands before taking a shower, after taking a shower, or both?

Do couples who live together and sleep in the same bed need to stand six-feet apart in public to avoid being criticized?

If your family has more than 10 members living in the same house, do number 11 and above have to leave and find somewhere else to live?

Sorry, I may be getting silly after self-isolating, but so far I’m still healthy!

Make Me Laugh

We’re all getting a bit squirrely being stuck at home–especially if you have kids–trying to telework, and being bombarded by  the continuing banter of the various experts predicting the future. It’s difficult to find humor in the situation, but I’ll try.

Maintaining social distance—-“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Turning to the groom, he continued, “You may now wave at your wife who is an appropriate six-feet away.”

If restaurants reopen, wait staff will have to wear masks and use disposable menus—–“Who was that masked waiter?”
“I don’t know, but he left this silver tip tray.”

A politician, an elected official, and a cable news personality walked into a bar. The bartender looked at them and asked, “Is this a joke?”
One of them replied, “Nope, just business as usual.”

 

The Blog Must Go On!

Here’s the deal. The storms that were supposed to be west of us didn’t follow the forecasters directions and went through here this morning. The winds were incredible. In my backyard, they snapped off the top 20 feet of a tree (including any branches with leaves) and dropped it on my fence. We can’t let the dog out because he has a habit of running and exploring until he gets in trouble, then he comes home.

Similar occurrences in other nearby neighborhoods managed to take out the electrical feeds. It’s 80 degrees outside with no air conditioning. I have a generator, which is powering the refrigerators, a light or two, some fans, but not much more.

I’m typing this on my laptop with a kerosene lamp to be able to see the keys–just like young Abe Lincoln did so many years ago. Nevertheless, as in show business, the blog must go on! Without further ado –today’s blog.

I know there are a lot of phony conspiracy theories floating around, but a few of them are almost true.

For example, it’s not 5G that causes coronavirus, it’s coronavirus that causes 5G. As people first became infected with COVID-19, suddenly strange cell telephone towers appeared mysteriously. AT&T called Verizon and asked if they were responsible. Verizon denied it and AT&T reiterated that the towers weren’t theirs.

Sprint called T-Mobile and accused them of erecting the towers. T-Mobile’s CEO was so irritated at being falsely accused that he immediately bought Sprint out of spite. (Spite is one of the many small islands of Langerhans.)

Nevertheless, as COVID-19 spread, the towers continued to mysteriously appear. No one knows where they come from.

Admit it! It’s a conspiracy! There are two choices, join in and have fun or deny. It’s up to you.

As for me, if the conspirators provide doughnuts in the morning and hors de oeuvres in the evening (and rumor says they do), I’m  in.

NOTE: ANY ERRORS ARE NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE AUTHOR BUT ARE DUE TO INSUFFICIENT ILLUMINATION FROM A KEROSENE LAMP.

Pointless Easter Questions

Why are the ears of a chocolate rabbit a delicacy when the whole confection is made of the exact same chocolate?

Did you ever hide Easter eggs so well that they weren’t found until the lawn mower hit them?

Wouldn’t Easter be more interesting if instead of ham or lamb, the traditional meal was rabbit?*

What do peeps (marshmallow chicks) have to do with Easter?

In this time of COVID-19 and its side effect–especially cabin fever from self isolation–I wish everyone a happy Easter. To my Jewish friends chag Pesach sameach and as Ramadan approaches,  salaam to my Muslim friends.

 

 

*It’s delicious.

Just Before Easter

Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Gordon B. Hinckley ...

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.                                           -Isaiah 55:8

I believe scripture was not given to us as a cookbook, but more like a song or a poem–its meaning is not obvious. We are challenged to read, think, meditate, and through those, let God speak to each of us personally.

Recently, I pondered, what happened between the time Jesus died and the time Mary Magdalene discovered that His tomb was empty? We’ll never know for sure–at least while we’re still in this life.

Did His body lie there until Easter morning while his spirit experienced death as humans do? It’s possible, since Jesus was not only here to teach us, but also to experience human life first hand. Did this include all aspects of death? Jesus knows us not only by omniscience, but also by experience. When praying we dare not say, “You just don’t understand!”

Did His spirit, separated from his body return to Heaven? Also possible (as all things are to God), but I don’t find any reference that even obliquely hints at this. Instead, scripture seems to allude to the Ascension was His first return to Heaven.

Did His spirit merely rest along with His body? His human body was broken. He was divine, but still human. Would his human soul be weary? Most of us have experienced spiritual weariness and Jesus may have allowed the human side of his spirit experience what any human would have felt after such a death.

Thinking about the question made me feel just a tiny bit closer to Him. I don’t need to know exactly what happened. Whatever Jesus did was the right thing for both Heaven and Earth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Contrast

Crucifixion Definition - Ancient Method of Execution

I sometimes discover things that are blindingly obvious. For example, today is Good Friday when we remember how Jesus suffered and died for us.

In today’s world, there is so much self-centered living.

  • “I’m great!”
  • “What’s in it for me?

Jesus gave His all. His friends abandoned Him; one betrayed him. He was dragged from official to official, ending up condemned by a kangaroo court in the middle of the night. He suffered incredible physical pain at the hands of the Romans. He was put on display on the cross as he suffered for public humiliation.

How much better would the world be if we took Jesus’ example and teachings to heart?

Hleath Caer

I spent many years in healthcare, as a technologist, as a manager, and even worked for a major medical equipment company, managing the techs who would demonstrate and teach radiologic technologists how to use the latest, greatest equipment.

I’m glad those days are over–especially my time in management. It was awful enough when hospitals established their own collection agencies–complete with a stable of lawyers, of course. Now, as clinicians try to help patients in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, hospital administrations do not help. Instead, they throw up roadblocks.

In some hospitals, health care workers have been forbidden from wearing masks as protection in the hallways.

In at least one hospital, personal protective gear was at a premium, so nurses put up a GoFundMe site and purchased masks, surgical shoe coverings, etc. Rather than appreciating the lengths that the nurses would go to help their patients, one nurse was suspended for distributing the unauthorized products.

We could blame it on the stable of lawyers, but they don’t actually decide. They advise, lean heavily against the possibility of a mega-million dollar hospital experiencing a couple thousand dollar judgement. They do add to administrators’ hesitance about making decisions.

As a former Fellow of the American College of Healthcare Executives with all kinds of letters after my name, here’s my suggestion.

  • If it helps the patients, do it. Combat doctors and medics save many lives doing what needs to be done, not what the book says.
  • If you are not actively involved in patient care, your job is to grease the skids for those who are.
  • If you, or the person most important to you–parent, spouse, child–were the patient, would you want care delayed or withheld because of such stupid reasons?

Oh, and maybe have the administrators, lawyers, etc. assist by having actual contact with patients. They may not be qualified to provide patient care, but they can transport patients, clean and stock rooms, etc. Every other healthcare worker has and probably is doing such tasks today. If administrator and their staff feel it is beneath them, then they are in the wrong business.

C’mon people.

 

 

Conspiracy!

Photo CNN

In England, vandals have set cellular towers on fire because they believe, thanks to internet, that the new 5G cellular system causes coronavirus. I can–but won’t–speculate on how they came up with this.

I suggest that everyone who has clicked on such links be banned from the internet and required to write a ten page essay, complete with footnotes and bibliography, proving the cause and effect relationship between 5G and coronavirus. Manifestos and anecdotes would not be allowed.

Alternately, each could be required to repeat sixth grade science class–in a real sixth grade class with genuine sixth-graders, complete with sixth-grade size desks.

I also suggest that internet sites that allow such blatantly false information to be posted would forfeit gross revenue for the length of time that the postings were hosted. The forfeited money could be used to improve public education.

Numeralocracy

The Target Breach, By the Numbers — Krebs on Security

There is somebody, somewhere–or more likely a whole group of somebodies–who define laws dealing with numbers. I’m not talking about the Pythagorean Theorem or natural logarithms. I’m talking about people who decide important numbers for the rest of us. These do not appear to be based on science, religion, or anything else–you know exactly what I mean.

An early American example is that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. We tend to blame that one on Ben Franklin, who also started the US Postal Service. Coincidence? I think not.

Who decided we need to drink 8 glasses of water a day?  If we’re talking about 12 ounce glasses, that’s a gallon and a half. Correct or not, where did the number come from.

A cup is 8 ounces, unless we’re talking about coffee makers, in which case a cup is 5 ounces.*

We’re told that dogs always turn around 3 times before lying down. My dog must be mathematically challenged, because–based on actual, real-life observations–the number of turns seems to depend on how tired or bored he is.

Then, of course, there’s the salacious seven-year itch. Is this a warning or an excuse for how people behave after 7 years of marriage?

Forget the New World Order, the Illuminati, the Knights Templar, the military-industrial complex, or even the Mafia. The real power is held by the people who control the numbers.

You have been warned!

 

* Imagine the riots and violence if everyone were limited to 5 ounces of coffee at a time.

Do Not Feed the Living Languages!

Language changes with the times. This is why the Romance languages, that is those that evolved from Rome’s Latin, eventually differentiated into French, Spanish, Italian, etc. In times such as ours, there are many changes due to advances in technology, or even threats like the novel corona virus.

When I was in school, we were taught that words were categorized by gender while people were described by sex. Sometime, oddly enough either during or shortly after the Sexual Revolution, someone decided that using the words people and sex together was unsightly, offensive, or something. People suddenly were categorized by gender, just like words.

By doing so, even your great-great-aunt Prudence wouldn’t be offended. Of course she grew up referring to people by sex and probably lived on a farm on which the animals repeatedly engaged in scandalous behavior.

In any case, we have it all modernized.

However, in other languages the gender and word thing didn’t go away. The Romance languages still assign a gender to nouns as do the German language. In German, a fork is feminine, a spoon masculine and a knife neutral.

We still have vestiges of the gender comment in modern English. A ship, for example, is referred to as she.

But what’s important is that we keep people and sex apart.*

 

I wonder if any guy has told his significant other, “Wow! You look really gendery tonight?”

 

Metamorphosis

Today’s hand me downs are tomorrow’s heirlooms.

17 Best images about Ugly Jugs on Pinterest | Ceramics ...

Random Thoughts

There’s no specific theme or topic–just goofy stuff that has gone through my head as I self-isolate.

1. There’s no understanding the lengths people will go through to take advantage of others. A museum near Amsterdam closed because of the COVID-19 emergency. Someone–or several someones–broke in and stole a Vincent van Gogh painting, The Parsonage Garden at Neunen.  As near as I can tell, except for artwork that the Nazis looted, there are less than a dozen masterpieces that have been stolen and not recovered.

Imagine if the thieves had put their time and talent to work doing something worthwhile. Then again, maybe they think that they look good in fluorescent orange jumpsuits.

2. The hospital ships USNS Comfort and USNS Mercy supporting New York and Los Angeles are amazing. They started out as commercial supertankers, and if memory serves correctly, were cut in half to make them longer. USNS indicates that the ship is owned by the US Navy, but is not a commissioned vessel. The crew is a combination of military and civilian mariners under the direction of the Military Sealift Command.

The 1000 bed medical facility is under the command of a captain from the Navy Medical Corps or Navy Nurse Corps. Each has a complement of diagnostic and treatment facilities including radiology, CT Scan, 12 operating rooms, and a burn care unit.

Years ago, I had the opportunity to visit the USNS Mercy and she’s an awesome ship. Both have helicopter landing pas for patients being medevaced. The trauma receiving area–similar to an emergency room–has its deck painted red, an old tradition so blood isn’t as obvious. After all, these were built to support combat casualties.