Tag Archives: Einstein

Magic with Numbers!

SONY DSC

Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawkins were rank amateurs because they were handicapped by their pathetic math skills.

The real math pros are accountants.

As the old joke goes:
A businessman needed to hire someone who knew math. For the interview, he had written on a white board “2 + 2 =.” The mathemetician wrote “4,” as did the physicist. When an acountant arrived, he looked at the whiteboard, locked the door, checked to make sure the window was locked, and pulled the curtains. He leaned close to the businessman and whispered,
“What do you want it to be?”

Creative accounting requires more mental gymnastics than figuring out how the universe began or will end. Here’s a great example:

Forestt Gump, the movie, cost $55 million dollars to produce. It earned nearly $680 BILLION, but according to the accountants, it lost money. Some of the contributors (like author Winston Groom) had agreed to a percentage of the net profits. However, since it never made a dime, their share was zero.

Let’s review the math:

$679,850,637,000
–        $55,000,000
             ZERO*
* After depreciation, marketing, amortization, title, and dealer preparation charges–and other “Generally Accepted Accounting Principles”.

I didn’t include taxes, because if it “lost money,” I’m not sure whether or not they had to pay any.

Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking, eat your hearts out!

 

 

Time and Eternity

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Time is such a strange entity. It doesn’t take Einstein and his Theory of Relativity to explain how time is relative, although even he’s reputed to compare how time with a “pretty girl” passes much faster than the same amount of time sitting on a hot stove.

We speak of having a good time, or experiencing bad times. We measure ourselves by the amount of time we’ve been converting oxygen to carbon dioxide. To us, time is pretty significant.

It may not be important, though.

I always figured that time was one of those things that God made for our convenience like mass or gravity. Without mass we’d just pass other matter; without gravity, we’d just float. Absence of mass or gravity would make life far more complicated – the same with the absence of time.

On the other hand, we tend to think of being non-physical and untethered by gravity as things we’ll find in Heaven. We’ll float around as happy-go-lucky spirits until the end of time when we and our bodies will be reunited. Then, we’ll have the best of both worlds – enjoying our corporeal existence but able to simultaneously move about freely as spirits do.

Time, on the other hand, is a little trickier. As I’ve mentioned before eternity as in always having a tomorrow is a kind of comforting thought. On the other hand, eternity as in infinity going backward is significantly disconcerting. An unlimited number of tomorrows is inspiring. An unlimited number of yesterdays is confusing.

That’s one of the many reasons that He is God and we are not.

God referred to Himself as “I am.” Not “I was and I will be.” Just simply, “I am.”

So I figure that God is unfettered by time. I’ve never seen a drawing of God wearing a wristwatch, so I guess we all sort of imagine the same thing. He is – in all places at all times all at once all the time.

When I am having a good time, I try to tell Him, “Thanks.” When I’m having a bad time, I take comfort in the fact that while time may have a hold on me, it’s meaningless to Him.

It helps keep things in perspective.