Tag Archives: fairy tales

What’s Wrong with Nursery Rhymes!

Would you let your child hang around this woman?

Would you let your child hang around this woman?

For centuries we’ve taught our children nursery rhymes, and then wonder why they grow up so maladjusted.

“Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone…” Why would she store a bone in the cupboard? If she had a bone left over from a meal, given that there were no refrigerators, it would make better sense to just give it to the dog at the meal. Besides, a bone is more entertainment than actual nutrition.

“Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. Jack jump over the candlestick.” There’s the poster boy for national fire prevention week. On the other hand, we get our panties in a wad over the idea of our children running with scissors—but jumping over candles is just fine.

“Jack Spratt could eat no fat; his wife could eat no lean.” Where does Michelle Obama and the food pyramid stand on this one? Where are the vegetables and the fiber?

“Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon,” but then we wonder why some kids stray into drugs.

Where Are the Elves?

Free Advertising for Keebler (I prefer chocolate and peanut butter if you feel compelled to respond)

Free Advertising for Keebler
(Any thing chocolate and peanut butter if you feel compelled to respond)

I recall a story from my childhood in which the elves came at night to help a cobbler make shoes. As a matter of fact, I’ve heard that Keebler uses an elf as their mascot since “Keebler” sounds like cobbler.

I want to know where MY elves are.

I don’t expect them to go to work for me, but elves who made coffee, fixed broken things, etc. would be mighty helpful. So far, none have shown up, so I have to do those things myself.

Oddly, when I do, my wife has this funny Mona Lisa smile.