Tag Archives: gridlock

Historical Tradition

parties-congressfight-e1365308577923

I’ve read and heard about the “standard procedures” of the US Congress in its early days, especially during the time leading up to the Civil War. Some members (and COngressional staffers) carried pistols and almost all had walking sticks.  Being carried unconscious form the hallowed chambers was not unheard of, since fistfights were not uncommon, they used their walking sticks as clubs, and the ubiquitous spittoon was often thrown or poured on “my distinguished colleague from [fill in the blank]” as a First Amendment protected expression of free speech.

You do know what a spittoon is?

Think about it. Ewwwwww!

While you might find their deportment while in office vile and disgusting, these are our roots, and it might be well to return to them. Don’t forget, in our early days, the Vice President came to the capital to be sworn in, then headed back home.

I propose bringing back these proud American traditions.

First, since, in the formative years of Congress, there was no television, I propose that all speeches may only occur when the Congress has a quorum. That means that a majority of the members of that house of Congress must be present even if they have to listen to a colleague’s drabble. The CSPAN cameras (God love ’em) are great, but do not constitute a quorum.

Second, elected congressmen and senators should be allowed–nay, encouraged–to bring the weapon of their choice with them, just as they did in the early to mid 1800s. Let’s see how that affects gridlock. (Don’t worry, there are damned few who would have the guts to actually use a weapon, and most couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn. I’m not including those few military veterans, who would not only hit their target, but do so with a precise grouping.)

Third, insist that members of Congress experience what the FOunding Fathers did. The British do so at least to a degree in their courts. In Congress, this would call for stockings, instead of trousers, heavy woolen clothes year-round and, no screens on the windows, much less air conditioning.

I’d bet that this would have some impact on gridlock–not to mention an increase in special elections as a few members of Congress were killed or injured and many of the others fled for their lives.

Just kidding–everything is working just fine as it is.

The Government is Shutting Down!

You’ve reached the United States Government. We’re closed right now.  If you receive this message during regular working hours, it means that we were not funded. Please try your call later. Thank you.

It’s the lead story on the news, it’s the end of life as we know it! (Details at eleven) And, of course, it’s someone else’s fault.

What will we do? What will we do?

Unless God wills otherwise, tomorrow, the sun will come up.

Most of those with a job will go to work. Children will go to school.

People will eat and sleep. Children will play at recess. Babies will be born. And yes, someone’s grandpa may die.

So what will be different?

If you were planning a luxurious trip to some exotic island, your passport may be delayed.

Your government grant for studying the nocturnal feeding habits of black footed ferrets in the high plains won’t be funded just yet.

Our lives will go on.

And maybe some people will realize that the politicians are neither as important nor as powerful as they’d have us believe.

On the other hand, God is.

Congressional Update

visitingdc.com (And it is a great place to visit)

visitingdc.com
(And it is a great place to visit)

Sources who declined to be identified have provided the following information.

In the hallway of the Capitol Building, several Tea Partiers demanded Harry Reid’s lunch money. This was their 42nd unsuccessful attempt.

Meanwhile, Senator Ted Cruz threatened to hold his breath until he passed out, if they didn’t promise to keep trying.

Speaker John Boehner when asked about the incident, replied, “The devil, I mean Ted Cruz, made me do it. I didn’t want to but he made me!”

Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi yelled, “Will you all be quiet! I’m still trying to read this Affordable Healthcare Act to see what’s in it!”

Other sources have indicated that President Obama responded with, “As the highest elected official, and the spiffiest dresser since Harry Truman, if I do say so myself, I’d like to say nyaa nyaa nya nyaa nyaa!”

Unfortunately, when Ted Cruz passed out, no one seemed to care.