Tag Archives: Justin Bieber



Federal Furlough Friday

Federal Furlough Friday

I get a three day weekend every week for the next eleven weeks, HOWEVER, the extra day will be without pay.

In the meantime, here are a few HOWEVERs I learned from the mainstream media.

Justin Bieber, was videoed urinating in a mop bucket, HOWEVER, he did call Bill Clinton to apologize.

Fish oil is going to kill me through prostate cancer, HOWEVER, having cancer may save me from Alzheimers.

My cats are going to kill me through microbes in their litter box, HOWEVER, they make great companion animals for people who are dying.

Americans, are exercising more, HOWEVER, they’re still getting more obese.

To lose weight many people drink diet soda, HOWEVER, it may actually make you crave more calories.

I could write more, HOWEVER, I’m out of ideas.

Planning for the Future


Feeling better, the young mother walked down the hall to look into the nursery at her newborn, when she noticed the well-dressed gentleman.

“Which baby is yours?” she asked. The stranger laughed.

“Oh, no, I’m not a parent,” he replied. “I’m a talent scout.”

“Scouting newborns?”

“Absolutely,” he replied. “I’ve got two positions I need to fill, and by the time children reach their first birthday, it’s far too late for grooming.” The new mother looked puzzled.

“Each generation needs to have its pre-teen heartthrobs, and that means the entertainment industry needs to identify candidates early. I’m currently on retainer to find both the male and female pre-teen heartthrobs this time around.”

“Pre-teen heartthrobs?” asked the mother.

“Oh, yes,” the talent scout replied. “Someone for the young girls to gush over; In the past we had Rudolf Valentino, Frank Sinatra, Donny Osmond, boy bands and now, Justin Bieber.”

“And the boys?”

“We take care of them, too. Over the years we provided Shirley Temple, Judy Garland, Annette Funicello, Lady Gaga. Hmmmm. That baby, third from the left might have potential.”

“No!” the mother stated firmly. “I didn’t go through 18 hours of labor so Hollywood could make a nutcase out of my son. I think it would be best for you to leave.

“Now!” she insisted as she walked into the nursery, picked up her son and held him tightly.