Tag Archives: Lindsay Lohan

Wednesday Night Prime Time TV

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6:00 NETWORK NEWS: The world on the brink of war! Threats from North Korea! Trouble in Syria! Palestine and Israel! Special report on how this affects Lindsay Lohan.

7:00 TRAILER TRASH: Cute little “Doggie Doo Doo” wants to go to school, but Big Fat Mama says, “No! You need to stay stupid, so we can keep having our own TV show!”

8:00 REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MOSCOW: Olga suspects husband Ivan of pursuing widow next door when she finds pictures of neighbor’s tractor in Ivan’s workshop. Meanwhile Alyona’s new job at the museum goes awry when she accidentally locks Lenin’s body in a closet and must convince Alexei to impersonate the dead Russian leader until the locksmith arrives.

9:00 SO YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT TALENT: Special Edition! A hilarious lineup of tone deaf musicians, uncoordinated dancers and a juggler with limited mobility due to an unfortunate accident with a chainsaw during his audition. Celebrity judges Nancy Grace, Lady GaGa, Paris Hilton and Kanye West all in particularly nasty moods.

10:00 SURVIVOR – HOLLYWOOD: NEW! Having eliminated the cost of writers, Survivor takes the next logical step and films on the streets of Hollywood. Contestants must face a series of challenges armed only with a Gucci bag and a Green American Express Card.

11:00 LOCAL NEWS: Someone went into a neighborhood bar but came out feet first. We’ll tell you who.

There’s Nothing to Write About

Okay, I actually have been very busy with Thanksgiving, setting up the Christmas decorations, soccer tournaments, etc., but I keep looking for something new to write about. In the last month we’ve had elections, economic reports, coups, countercoups, threats, counter threats, but what is really different?

Economists are saying recovery is just around the corner again/still.

The economy is still in the dumper again/still.

Washington is gridlocked again/still.

Lindsay Lohan is in trouble again/still.

Our president is the president again/still.

Everyone says we have to solve the tax / deficit / immigration / jobs / global warming problem again/still.

No one is actually willing to do anything about the tax / deficit / immigration / jobs / global warming problem again/still.

I keep looking for something – anything – that is new enough to inspire me, but, alas, I continue to fail. And I mean really fail. I’ve tried to write another science fiction serial, but there needs to be something, instead of nothing, which is what we’ve got.

(Even the graphic I tried to put here showed up as nothing…..)Fortunately, there is enough nothing to go around. If every American had his fill of nothing every day through the holidays and well into next year, there would still be enough nothing left for future generations.

Wal-Mart considered outsourcing nothing to lower cost Asian and Central American companies, but these emerging economies wanted nothing to do with it.

Jerry Seinfeld already did a television series about nothing, so there’s nothing to be done there.

So we have to ask ourselves, “Is nothing sacred?”

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.