Tag Archives: Ohio

Pansies

Pansy wikipedia

Pansy
wikipedia

Around here, in the fall they plant pansies.

When I was a kid, “pansy” referred to a weakling; someone who couldn’t survive a challenge.

Yet pansies are planted as a winter flower around mailboxes and around offices to give a little color to the otherwise drab winter.

While it’s true that Virginia winters are not like winters in Ohio, the Yukon or Siberia, it’s still winter. You’re not going to catch me sleeping outside.

I think pansies have not been getting the respect they deserve.

Autumn Leaves – A Different Thought

photo homtv.net

photo homtv.net

When I was growing up, people would rake up the leaves in the fall, sweep them to the curb and burn them in the street. The smell of fall was the smell of burning leaves.

Some people thought the smell was attractive. I haven’t thought of it in years. When I lived in Florida, there were few leaves to burn, and when they did it was usually an out-of-control wildfire. Burning palm trees smell like someone torched the dump. Wyoming had lots of wide open spaces unencumbered by trees, so there was no need to burn leaves.

Open fires are frowned on in Virginia. That frown comes with a citation and a fine.

Over time, up here in Ohio and Michigan, burning leaves changed. Many of the concrete or brick streets were covered over with asphalt. Asphalt tends to melt and/or burn, so burning fell out of favor. If you smelled burning leaves, it probably meant that someone parked over top of a pile of leaves and the heat from their catalytic convertor started a fire. Somehow the mix of burning car and burning leaves isn’t quite the same.

So it surprised me to find in southern Michigan – just over the line from Toledo, OH – to be exposed to the ubiquitous smell of burning leaves.

I think that burning leaves, whether autumn or tobacco, belongs to a time now past.

Sex and Marriage in the Future

It was a very nice meal at one of those restaurants that people save for special occasions. It had included Cloned Breast of Duck with a delightful artificial orange flavoring, genetically engineered hydroponic rice and even a very nice bottle of Ohio’s finest hybrid sugar beet wine. Afterwards the couple walked along one of the main thoroughfares, down the escalator and into the public transportation dematerialization chamber.

They rematerialized several hundred kilometers away and walked from the station to her home. He followed her inside and sat down as she removed her coat.

“What a nice night,” she offered. “I know lots of girls have sex with their dates just because it’s expected, but you really went out of your way to make me feel special, so I’m actually looking forward to it.

“Uhh, I’d rather not,” he replied.

“Are you breaking up with me?” she asked.

“No,” he replied. “But, we’ve known each other ever since we were kids, we’ve been spending a lot of time together and I think you’re special – really, really special.”

“You think I’m special so you don’t want to have sex with me?”

“Not exactly.” She looked at him puzzled as he continued.

“You know I’m working on my dissertation in anthropological history, and as I was doing research I came across some very old data files. I mean these date from before the twenty-first century. They were so old that they had originally been printed on paper in a form called a magazine.” He paused.

“You could at least come over and sit by me,” he offered. She hesitated and sat next to him making sure to leave space between the two of them.

“Anyway,” he continued, “They used to have a custom in which one man and one woman would make an agreement to spend their life together and share everything. They promised to stick together through the good and the bad. The only people they had sex with were each other.” She looked at him with interested amazement.

“Did that arrangement work?”

“Not always. Some couples parted when life got challenging. Some got bored with each other. Some had sex with other people – they called that ‘cheating’ and since it negated the exclusiveness it seriously endangered the marriage.”

“Why did they stop this marriage thing?”

“As near as I can tell, the celebrities were the trend setters and didn’t value marriage, so people lost interest. The definition of marriage changed and eventually marriage could include two or more people of whatever combination of sexes. Once it lost the sense of commitment, it eventually just faded away.”

“So how did this marriage thing originally work?” she asked.

“Well, a couple would date for a while – like we’ve been doing – and decide if they loved and liked each other enough to commit to each other exclusively. This led to something called an engagement, a period when they let others know that they were planning to be married. Finally, they would have a big ceremony with family and friends at which they would be declared married, followed by a huge party. Then they’d start their life as a couple.”

“That sounds wild and radical,” she began, then paused. “And very romantic.” She tried to move closer to him on the couch, but to her surprise he suddenly stood up, turned to face her and knelt on one knee.

“The engagement usually started with the man proposing and offering his intended partner a gift.” She watched as he opened a small box that contained a diamond ring. He asked her a question, but she didn’t really hear his words. All she knew was she answered with a yes.

Buzzards & Swallows

BuzzardTShirtToday is the day that the swallows return to Capistrano. Every year, like clockwork, they arrive on the feast of St. Joseph – March 19th.

Yesterday was Buzzard Day in northeast Ohio. That is when the buzzards return to Hinckley, Ohio – just a bit south of Cleveland. Buzzard Day is the Sunday following March 15.

Isn’t it amazing that all these birds know the exact date and where they’re supposed to be? Especially the buzzards who know to wait until the Sunday following the date.

I’m not buying it.

We have multibillion dollar airlines with state of the art airplanes and a federally operated air traffic control system. We have GPS, radar and autopilots.

Do we hit our scheduled arrival times as accurately?

Not a chance.

Most of the time they can’t even get you and your luggage to the same place at the same time.

Of course, the buzzards and swallows don’t have to print out their boarding passes at home, arrive at the point of departure an hour ahead of rime, pay for each piece of checked luggage and be searched by security.

Maybe that’s why they can keep a schedule.

(and, no, I don’t know why the font isn’t consistent!)

Virginia Winters

coldHaving lived in different parts of the country I notice a bit of a difference between climes. In Wyoming, unless it was below zero and there was the chance of being stuck somewhere, I wore my suit coat, shirt and tie to work all winter. In Virginia, when it gets to 50 degrees, everyone wears the down filled “Michelin Man” coats.

I have no problem with that.

At my son’s soccer game (The “Icebreaker” Tournament) today, everyone was frozen to the core at 40 degrees, including me.

My friends back in Wyoming and Ohio are laughing at me.

So be it.

However, I have robins, daffodils and neighbors working on their yards.

I use my snow shovel primarily as an extra-large dust pan.

Life is good.