Tag Archives: robocall

My New Friend



As I got older, my eyes began playing tricks on me. I believe I mentioned a long time ago that I looked at a sign in front of a motel and read, “Congratulations to our ghost of the week.” It actually said “guest,” of course. My eyes’ version is definitely funnier.

Like everyone else, I get an inordinate number of robocalls, and on my cell phone the screen displays, “Scam Likely.” I decided to blame my eyes and tell whoever it interrupted that the call is from my new friend “Stan Liekly.”

The scam-likely warning is better than nothing, but you would think that a nation in which every person under the age of thirty had a cellphone before they were potty trained could figure out how to stop these callers. Unfortunately, not.

I admit, knowing how many billions of dollars these con artists make, I’ve tried to figure out how I’d milk this cash cow. I could robocall millions of people and tell them that I’m an IRS agent holding a Nigerian Prince, and his bag full of money, hostage. Then I’d demand $10,000 in bit coin or I’ll force the Nigerian Prince to infect their computer and erase all their files.

On the other hand, it’s easier and more profitable just to work a legitimate job.

Crawling to Safety

The vast wasteland lay before me as though an eternity. I knew to stay in one spot meant certain death and there was nothing behind me so I decided to crawl forward. I was long past walking. I had tried to sleep in what shelter I could find and move when I could do so unnoticed, but so far it hadn’t seemed to do me much good.

By sheer willpower I continued on. Many times I let my head drop, but knew if I gave up for a moment I would give up completely. I was thankful for the numbness for I knew if I could feel, the pain would be unbearable.

What was that ahead? A glimmer of hope? Could I keep going.

I had to.

If I could, I might have a shot at surviving – a small chance, but I had to shoot for it.

Yesterday I would have welcomed death to save me from this torment but today I continued on, knowing if I could last just a few more hours the political ads would stop. The robocalls would no longer haunt me. The hate that filled the air would subside.

I dragged myself forward toward the light.