Tag Archives: Shopping

Pansies

Pansy wikipedia

Pansy
wikipedia

Around here, in the fall they plant pansies.

When I was a kid, “pansy” referred to a weakling; someone who couldn’t survive a challenge.

Yet pansies are planted as a winter flower around mailboxes and around offices to give a little color to the otherwise drab winter.

While it’s true that Virginia winters are not like winters in Ohio, the Yukon or Siberia, it’s still winter. You’re not going to catch me sleeping outside.

I think pansies have not been getting the respect they deserve.

It Ain’t as Bad as They Say

I’ve been struggling the past week to write.

There’s been a lot going on. Today is my mother’s birthday – the first since she died.

My father was recently diagnosed with leukemia, although at his age, it’s kind of a wheel of misfortune. Something was bound to come up.

I had a referral to yet one more specialist, and I’ll be undergoing yet another procedure on Monday.

All this is distracting.

However, I’m neither complaining nor asking for sympathy.

I love my family and any time I get to spend with them. I love my job and the people with whom I work. I enjoy music and being able to play a little. I can go upstairs to my office and turn on the ham radio and talk to people all over the world.

I am working on a thrift store telescope because I love the skies.

My dog thinks I’m the greatest thing in the world. My parrot thinks I’m his entire flock.

Best of all, my wife is my best friend, and everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

I’m blessed with everything anyone could want.

However, recent events have prevented me from writing any brilliant insights, major philosophical revelations or earth-shattering thoughts.

But, then again, I’ve never done that before.

Go figure.

Random Musings on Reincarnation

I really, really looked

for an appropriate illustration

but none of them were funny!

 

 

I don’t happen to believe in reincarnation, but the concept presents some interesting situations.

If you’re reincarnated, does deja vu feel different?

Could you be charged for 300 years overdue fines on the library book you lost in a previous life?

If you’re married in this life and have an affair with your spouse from a previous life, is it wrong?

If in a previous life you left everything to yourself in a next life, would you have to pay tax on the inheritance?

The worst thing of all?

All through whichever life you’re living, you’d know that when you come back you’d have to eat those awful tasting baby foods and suffer from diaper rash, all over again.

Science Fun

bird

I enjoy science, so naturally I enjoy the little scientifically based trinkets that demonstrate a scientific principle. In other words, they do something that can be done easier and more efficiently, but the trinkets do it in a creative way.

There’s the drinking bird that bobs as the liquid inside cools. There’s the Galileo thermometer with the different colored balls; which tell you the temperature. Then, of course, the radiometer – it looks like an old incandescent light bulb with four blades inside which spin wildly in sunlight – although there’s no way to harness the power. Finally, there’s the little frame with 5 balls hanging from it to demonstrate Newton’s Third Law – for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.

Naturally, I’m fair game at certain stores.

I bought a “floating pen” that balances on its tip within a magnetic base.

I took it out of the box and told my wife that I used to have one of these and they are so cool.

I placed the magnetic base on the table in front of her, and set the pen into it.

Instead of standing up, it immediately fell over.

My wife laughed so hard, she almost fell over.

Hey, maybe this is one more way to demonstrate Newton’s Third Law!

Tee-Shirts

Before World War II, most men wore undershirts – the ones that had the manly spaghetti straps over the shoulders. The military issued tee shirts, and a fashion trend followed.

We made tee shirts upscale by adding a collar, a couple of buttons and an alligator embroidered over the left breast. Look closely, it’s an alligator, not a crocodile. If you think it’s a guy playing polo, you may need to clean your glasses.

Somewhere along the line, someone decided to start printing slogans.

"Have a nice day!" said Forrest Gump as he continued running.

“Have a nice day!” said Forrest Gump as he continued running.

“Property of University of Akron Athletic Department”

“I’m with Stupid ->”

{FRONT} “I have a degree in Liberal Arts”

{BACK} “Do you want fries with that?”

{FRONT} “On that grand and glorious 8th day God created beer”

{BACK} “and gave it to the Irish!”

Why do I bring this up?

My suggestion to improve the world; if you’re going to wear a tee shirt with a witty saying, please keep your arms by your side so we can read it. If it is continued on the back, periodically doing a 180 degree turn long enough for people to read the punch line would be appreciated. And please, PLEASE, don’t think people are looking at you. It’s the witty saying on your shirt that catches attention, not your corporeal presence.

Otherwise, just wear a plain old shirt.

Bathroom Humor

No, not that kind – just thoughts about the modern bathroom.

Restroom-01

It’s interesting that public restrooms, the term that is often used to describe grossness, have gone high tech while the home bathroom is essentially unchanged.

First, the mix of toilet types in public restrooms. Some flush themselves. Some don’t need flushing. Some are still the do-it-yourself. And I’m not counting the ones that are out of order.

A mom with a young daughter told me about the trauma of her toddler using the restroom. Because she was so small, the sensor would “see” her then not “see” her and repeatedly flush – a sensation the young lady found most disconcerting. Probably put her potty training progress back at least 6 months.

Some bathrooms have automatic sinks. Others have automatic soap dispensers and most have automatic towel dispensers, but there seems to be no logic behind the selection. You almost think the plumbers are having fun at our expense.

If you really want to make me happy, how about an automatic door opener so I’d be spared the need to touch the door handle just used by the people who don’t wash their hands.

While I dislike traditional blow driers, I must admit I do like the new ones with 150 mile per hour blowers – of WARM air. They actually work (without the need to use my pants as a towel) and it’s fun just to watch the skin on my hands ripple in the Jetstream. But then I am easily amused.

Maybe that’s why home bathrooms haven’t changed. After being confused as to which fixture is automatic and which one is manual, it’s kind of reassuring to go home and not have to figure out how to use the bathroom.

The World Didn’t End

Of course, it would be kind of difficult to have a headline telling everyone, “The World Ended!” I can see the story, “Just as predicted by the ancient Mayans, the world ended on December 21st, right on schedule. Efforts to interview Mayans were unsuccessful due to the fact that pureblooded Mayans have either died out or intermarried with people of other tribal or national groups. Several individuals claiming to be descended from the ancient Mayans expressed a common theme, translated more or less into, “We told you so!”

maya

But since it DIDN’T end, what are the real implications?

  • The news media’s relevance continues to decline for reporting one more inconsequential and irrelevant story.
  • The malls and shopping centers are crammed with people who expected the world to end, but now have to get the Christmas shopping done in a hurry. (If you get a strange gift from Aunt Bertha, it’s probably because she was expecting the world to end. When she got to the mall, the choices for gifts were pretty small, so just be glad she remembered you at all.)
  • Sales of Mayan calendars have plummeted. It doesn’t matter anyways – it’s now as useful as a paper calendar from 2005.
  • People are scouring the Internet to find something else to worry about.
  • I am pleased to report that our two cats were totally untroubled by the situation, and have maintained their daily quota of naps.

So the world continues on.

I’d write more, but the kids just came down and told me they’re out of clean clothes. It seems that “just in case” they didn’t see the need to take their dirty clothes to the laundry room.

Modern Advances

Technology! It brings us so many things, yet does it truly make things better?

Handwritten letters in the mail had a personality of their own, but all e-mails look alike.

#As_do_tweets

texting-each-ther

I used to like to fill the bathtub with warm water and luxuriate in it with a book or magazine. Now I get my books and magazines on my Kindle.

Can’t read a Kindle or a Nook much less an iPad in a bathtub.

I used to love to go for a Sunday drive with my parents and see parts of the area that I normally didn’t see. Now I rely on my GPS, and if something catches my interest I hear,

“When possible make a legal U-Turn…”

Of course, when my kids reach my age, they’ll be telling their grandchildren, “We used to stay in touch with our best friends by smartphone, all day and half the night…”